www.askatheists.com user profile: George Carlin

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George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, satirist, actor and writer/author, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.

Carlin was noted for his black humor as well as his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 5–4 decision by the justices affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves.

The first of his fourteen stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. From the late 1980s, Carlin's routines focused on socio-cultural criticism of modern American society. He often commented on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. His final HBO special, It's Bad for Ya, was filmed less than four months before his death.

In 2004, Carlin placed second on the Comedy Central list of the 100 greatest stand-up comedians of all time, ahead of Lenny Bruce and behind Richard Pryor. He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live. In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

top atheist quotes (total: 20)

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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do.. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ..But He loves you... and HE NEEDS MONEY!

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Christians worship a dead Jew on a stick.

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1004

Interstingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to God ar all answered at about the same 50% rate

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What's the point of fucking praying in the first place? If God has a divine plan, what's the point of praying? If what you want is in the divine plan, you will get it anyways... and if it's not, you won't get it because it's not in the divine plan.

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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood

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45

"Keep thy religion to thyself."

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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

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"If there is a god, it has to be a man. No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this."

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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.

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Christians must be sick in the head. Only someone who hates himself could possibly think of the pleasures of masturbation as self-abuse.

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11

Religion is just mind control.

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...the important thing is to question everything you read or hear or see or are told. Try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as...

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Isn't it rather rude that people bombard God with prayer on Sunday? His day off...

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"Hey father, if god is so powerful can he make a stone so big that he himself cannot lift it? Ahh... we got him now."

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More people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason.

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24

"My god has a bigger dick than your god."

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Atheism is a non-prophet organisation

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11

Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion, are people you wouldn't wanna fuck in the first place?

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13

That should be "the prayers I offer to Joe Pesci", and not the Sun. It comes from his riff on "Religion is Bullshit."

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last comments (total: 3)

3

Michael may I ask what happened to my Mother's 'Free Will' NOT to be Raped as a 17 Year old Virgin and on top of it to be impregnated with Me?

Looking around the world don't you find the 'Free Will' of the Cruel, Sadistic and Depraved seems to TRUMP that of their VICTIMS?

How 'Free' is your will, when even your thoughts can be considered A Crime!

Rose Barden

21/04/14
8:58am

comment on atheist quote:
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do.. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ..But He loves you... and HE NEEDS MONEY!

0

Funny but a really stupid interpretation of God's Plan for us. I hope you were just trying to be funny, George. God is all about ensuring that we have Free Will and that folks like you can elect to say whatever you want about Him. Just like you can burn the flag in a free country, you can condemn God and falsely accuse Him for the undesirable effects of your own free will choices. So where does that leave you now, George???

michael comberiate

23/03/14
4:31pm

comment on atheist quote:
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do.. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ..But He loves you... and HE NEEDS MONEY!

12

Miss you, George.

Todd Pataky

31/05/13
9:32pm

comment on atheist quote:
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do.. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ..But He loves you... and HE NEEDS MONEY!